The underlying premise of this post is dynamics behind a forgiveness gesture.
So what happens when you annoy someone and ask for forgiveness after a period full of despair and anxiety.
It so happens that the person forgiving may feel cheated. How so . Lets put on the shoes of a third party neutral to the argument, who's just a bystander but has the full knowledge of the two people and why and who is going to forgive and who is asking for it and why is he/she asking for the same.
It may so happen that on the upfront the person asking for forgiveness may be the subject of pity for all the people , almost most of them , but if take a closer look , it is this person who actually is dominating the whole sequence of happenings among the two of them. It is this person who became the reason for annoy for the other person and it is his wish now, that will initiate the process of forgiveness. So as we clearly see the person who was hurt before due to the annoying behavior of yours and then later who is subtly forced into forgiving is at the receiving end. Thus it is an unfair game where the apparently pitiful individual is actually masterminding the whole game. If you closely observe the feelings of the person who is forgiving , it is not easy to make him/her believe that actually he/she was the clown in the game. He/she was rather the innocent puppet at the hands of this treacherous mastermind , behind the forgiveness chapter between the two. As far as the bad person is concerned , he/she always had what he/she wanted out of the relationship. He/she got a cold distance when he/she wanted and now he/she gets the much awaited warmth of forgiveness. So as it may sound contrary and upbeat that forgiveness is the greatest of all the gifts or gesture/s one can do towards your loved ones, I would request you to give it a second thought , before forgiving anyone in the future.
Keep Rocking.
T Rohit December 27th , 2010 , Hyderabad , India
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ReplyDeleteToo much of "He/She"...should've used Forgiver/Forgiven....the title of the post was more Unbiased than the post cos what I could infer from the post was that "Forgiveness is Stupidity"..talking about the dynamics, the positive side of forgiveness is that the forgiver never forgets the gesture made and feels that he's always at an edge w.r.t the forgiven. And thats the reality,cos even though the guilt of making a mistake is subdued by fogiveness, its never gone completely.So by forgiving, the forgiver appears to be a better humanbeing in the whole situation.
ReplyDeleteRather, its best to Forgive and "Forget", rather than Forgiving alone.